Close Encounters of the Thankful Kind

A few years back, the olden days by Cyber Time, I was captivated by a presence of breathtaking power and honesty. So, as idiots are want to do, I allowed myself to become infatuated with someone I didn't really know and who's life was set in a world I knew but could no longer be a player in. "What fools these Mortals be", fool and mortal, that's me for sure. It is no surprise that my presence in her world was tolerated (I'm not too big a jerk or a creep or anything, just a fool) as one of a civil and kind demeanor would tolerate most people that were not asses.

But I failed to return the honor that was being gifted to me. Not because I didn't want to, but as I state many times, and will many more, I'M AN IDIOT!

The tone of our communications has morphed into me trying to scale insurmountable odds and her providing kind bandages. The volume of exchanges from her should have told me something but, alas, as I have said, "I'M AN IDIOT!" Thus, the purpose of Bob's corner. A reflective pool, of words and ideas and observations and whatever, for me to excise my IDIOT demon so I can communicate without losing perspective. Wish me luck.

I must say, to those that know who they are, if ever you find this place, this corner, please come in. Sit a spell. Take your shoes off. I am, and ever will be, a friend.

OK, now to a discussion of the shit that is hitting the fan this week. Oh wait, isn't that the same shit that hit the fan last week, and the week before, and the week before that, etc..

Different Drum

Somewhere there may be someone. The people that jive with my outlook on the world seem to be beyond my pay grade when it comes to being more than passing friends. I was born under a bad sign it would appear. Sure, there are some that would have me. But I am damaged to the point that I can't read the signals that they send. The ones that I feel an attraction to must think me totally inept since I miss all the signs they carry for me to read. Why am I so dense?

The View From Where I Sit

When I was young I would analyze. Purpose was the nugget I chewed and tasted to see if nourishment to a cause could be had. My analysis determined my actions. As time passed, experience shown its light on a mistaken belief that analysis was all I needed to know the true nature of something. This mistake was mostly due to the fact that the analyzer was me.

But then, instead of analyzing purpose, I spent my time as an observer. An observer of results. Though purpose was still important to me, the only purpose I could really be sure of was my own. Observations, on the other hand, could be seen by all. No matter the purpose, it is the results of an action that determines the action's value to me.

This is the reason I don't care to be part of any established political party. While ideology may fill my dreams, results rule my life. The results since Ronald Reagan speak volumes to me.

Now I analyze my observations. Is what I see really what is real or am I mistaken because I can see only what is shown?

Analysis+observation of results seemed to be the answer. In this way I could see beyond what was shown and come to know what was not known, at least to me.

But, alas, this did not take into account that I could be deceived. Thus, it seems, is the allure of the political gamesmanship that we endure. The purposes, the results, the game, all are suspect. Mine, yours, everyone's.

The road to hell is paved with good intentions. Results can be misinterpreted. Gut feelings can be wrong. Deceit can masquerade as truth. Self-interest can trump anything. Only Time reveals the truth. Until it does, your guess is as good as mine...

I AM HE AS YOU ARE HE AS YOU ARE ME AND WE ARE ALL TOGETHER

I look out my window and cry a sigh for us. The materialism is evident in all the things I see. Even those of a non-materialistic vein have been trapped into compliance and denial. That includes me!

The devastation in Haiti is bad and sad. The world wide relief pouring in, on it's face, seems like we care. But the view out MY window shows that we don't, really.

We pat ourselves on the back for helping the less fortunate but continue to tell ourselves we are not the reason that they live as they do. They eat dirt not because they want to.

IMAGINE ALL THE PEOPLE SHARING ALL THE WORLD!

Shame on me. Shame on you. Shame, shame, shame!

Line of Sight

The line of sight has clouded some
What I see is grand
But what is real eludes my mind
And slips my weakened hand

Once I walked sure afoot
Balanced life with ease
Now she humors foolish whims
And vain attempts to please

A saddened song escapes my heart
As wiser I become
She lets me find the light of day
As from my tears I run

PAPERWORK!

Right now I am the victim of paperwork. It seems to be a diabolical attempt to get me to fail...so someone that should spend some money doesn't have to.

My window

My window onto and into the world clouds up more and more even as the days I spend pondering fill with intensity. The last few years brought some light, but but now grow dark as I try to understand what actions of mine are responsible for the loss of a friend.