Being somewhat lazy, I finally set about the task of reviewing, organizing, and deleting the stored e-mail in my on-line folders. 4 years worth! I came across the first e-mail from a person that means the world to me. Though so much water has flowed under the bridge in four years that I can barely see her boat as it makes it's way, I fell again. It was like a first kiss, the first time holding hands, the first dance.
From the perspective of the future that is now the past, I am sad beyond depression. I was, and am, a fool to believe I have anything she needs. She's out of my league, and always was.
Sunday, March 21, 2010
Friday, March 19, 2010
Understanding Why
I must accept my fate. I have been openly benign most of the time I have spent in the blogs. Being too fair, or seeking to improve oneself, or pointing out things that don't make sense, may have been the wrong move for me. Or maybe I'm just not worthy or smart enough. Anyway, at least I can write here without being dissed.
I don't know why I have become a pariah to the people I felt a kindred interest with. I just don't have the poop I guess. So for now I will pay attention to the world but keep my observations and opinions confined to this little, unknown, unimportant corner.
The digital world may be faster and vaster than the view from my window, but in reality, it is made up of the same people I see every day. The fate that I must accept is of my own construction, really. It should be no surprise, to me, that having lived as I have the world evolved on a different path and to a different destination than I. All that I can do is come here, talk to myself, commiserate with myself, and let the rest of the world go.
I don't know why I have become a pariah to the people I felt a kindred interest with. I just don't have the poop I guess. So for now I will pay attention to the world but keep my observations and opinions confined to this little, unknown, unimportant corner.
The digital world may be faster and vaster than the view from my window, but in reality, it is made up of the same people I see every day. The fate that I must accept is of my own construction, really. It should be no surprise, to me, that having lived as I have the world evolved on a different path and to a different destination than I. All that I can do is come here, talk to myself, commiserate with myself, and let the rest of the world go.
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Regrets
Like most people, I have regrets. Usually I let them in. They stay for awhile then leave, until the next time my thought drift in their direction. But lately they have become a flood that will not subside. Why did I do this or that? What could I have done better? All the usual suspects! But this time I seem to be losing the struggle to deal. That may be why these posts are so preachy. I have no where else to go to slay my dragons...
The Divine Right of Kings...or as it is better known now-a days; The Divine Right of Money
Well the health care mess sure is a sight to behold. I can't say I'm surprised. Those that can afford it can get all they need. Most of us work our lives away, raise our children, love our pets, are good neighbors, mow our lawns, etc.. Why on Earth do we think we deserve the best in health care?
Women in general are an oppressed majority. Children are too in many ways, in many countries. Animals, the water, the air, the land, all are the fodder for the cannons of the privileged. It is not anyone's mission to change what is the way things are in a system that can be changed. Why should anyone give up anything just so the rest of us can share in the world we built? And died for? I ask you! Selfish Have-nots, anyway.
Women in general are an oppressed majority. Children are too in many ways, in many countries. Animals, the water, the air, the land, all are the fodder for the cannons of the privileged. It is not anyone's mission to change what is the way things are in a system that can be changed. Why should anyone give up anything just so the rest of us can share in the world we built? And died for? I ask you! Selfish Have-nots, anyway.
"Listen to the Icon....Each in a World of Our Own Design"
Many centuries ago a life completely separate from all other humans may have been possible, and/or desirable. But such is no longer the case. The stubborn belief that private property can expand infinitely and is an inherent right flies in the face of the reality we now inhabit.
The finite nature of our world is the major source of war, injustice, and greed. While it may be that humans are greedy by nature, if the resources of our world were as truly infinite as our desires seem to be then greed would have no lasting consequences. But as for now, greed's needs seeds bleeds.
The debates going on about Health care, taxes, intellectual property, jobs, etc., can trace their very existence to the finite nature of resources. The selfish abhor the selfless in a system that relies on a limited number of sources of wealth, or even just sustenance. Once upon a time there may have been more resources than the population could consume yet still we fought. Fear of the unknown maybe. Greed probably. But even these reasons come about because, either consciously or unconsciously, we know that there is only so much to be had and at some point we will be asked to share. Thus we come to the underlying flaw in what we call commerce, manifested today as capitalism. We don't share, we sell shares in life if you have what we WANT and are willing to give it to us rather than die. Of course I may decide not to sell for some reason so you're shit out of luck!
The genesis of this short and preachy post has a multitude of contributory pieces. But the final spark that lit the fire came as I watched a TV show about 2012 on the History Channel. Even when discussing the possible end of the world I was forced to acknowledge that the only reason this show was made and aired was to make someone money. The industry doesn't care about me or even believe in what it is telling me!
Oh yeah, ERIN GO BRAUGH!
The finite nature of our world is the major source of war, injustice, and greed. While it may be that humans are greedy by nature, if the resources of our world were as truly infinite as our desires seem to be then greed would have no lasting consequences. But as for now, greed's needs seeds bleeds.
The debates going on about Health care, taxes, intellectual property, jobs, etc., can trace their very existence to the finite nature of resources. The selfish abhor the selfless in a system that relies on a limited number of sources of wealth, or even just sustenance. Once upon a time there may have been more resources than the population could consume yet still we fought. Fear of the unknown maybe. Greed probably. But even these reasons come about because, either consciously or unconsciously, we know that there is only so much to be had and at some point we will be asked to share. Thus we come to the underlying flaw in what we call commerce, manifested today as capitalism. We don't share, we sell shares in life if you have what we WANT and are willing to give it to us rather than die. Of course I may decide not to sell for some reason so you're shit out of luck!
The genesis of this short and preachy post has a multitude of contributory pieces. But the final spark that lit the fire came as I watched a TV show about 2012 on the History Channel. Even when discussing the possible end of the world I was forced to acknowledge that the only reason this show was made and aired was to make someone money. The industry doesn't care about me or even believe in what it is telling me!
Oh yeah, ERIN GO BRAUGH!
Monday, March 15, 2010
Star light, Star bright
My wish has always been to support the dreams I thought were worthy, especially if they were mine, and leave the other ones to others. But unless one is a hermit, that is not the way the cookie crumbles.
In fact, to live in the world of people, one must often support the dreams of others at the sacrifice of one's own. That is, if one is not greedy with time or effort. Since we are individuals our dreams are as varied yet similar as grains of sand on a beach. But still, since the hour glass of our lives never stops flowing toward its eventual cessation, we make choices. We hope they are wise ones but we also know some of those choices will be costly in terms of the one thing none of us can replace. TIME!
That is why equality, health care, love and such are so urgent. One can give away a lifetime before realizing the sand in the glass has almost run out. And, of course, the glass may break, spilling all our time out into the void leaving our dreams stranded.
I was one that gave no thought to the passage of time until now. I wish now I had. What I have now are memories. Some are wonderful, but many are of the sand that slipped through my fingers. Like a fool, I just grabbed another handful, until now it seems I must search continuously for each grain that is left.
Watching the news I find myself screaming "Don't let it slip away!" as the debates let precious sand escape.
In fact, to live in the world of people, one must often support the dreams of others at the sacrifice of one's own. That is, if one is not greedy with time or effort. Since we are individuals our dreams are as varied yet similar as grains of sand on a beach. But still, since the hour glass of our lives never stops flowing toward its eventual cessation, we make choices. We hope they are wise ones but we also know some of those choices will be costly in terms of the one thing none of us can replace. TIME!
That is why equality, health care, love and such are so urgent. One can give away a lifetime before realizing the sand in the glass has almost run out. And, of course, the glass may break, spilling all our time out into the void leaving our dreams stranded.
I was one that gave no thought to the passage of time until now. I wish now I had. What I have now are memories. Some are wonderful, but many are of the sand that slipped through my fingers. Like a fool, I just grabbed another handful, until now it seems I must search continuously for each grain that is left.
Watching the news I find myself screaming "Don't let it slip away!" as the debates let precious sand escape.
Saturday, February 27, 2010
Maybe, maybe not
It has been said that because of the Net all things published by digital means will never truly disappear. In the case of these words, I hope that is true. But even if they do survive there is no guarantee anyone will ever read them. So, it is to the unknown that I set down these thoughts. They may be of use, they may not. I have no way of knowing.
The knowledge that we have once belonged to others. As did the world. The only thing that is truly of only me is my love. The only thing that is truly of you is your love. The only gift I can give you that did not belong to other than me, and is only mine to give, is love. This I give to you. Once given, you can do what you will with it.
You can cherish it, or destroy it. Your choice.
The knowledge that we have once belonged to others. As did the world. The only thing that is truly of only me is my love. The only thing that is truly of you is your love. The only gift I can give you that did not belong to other than me, and is only mine to give, is love. This I give to you. Once given, you can do what you will with it.
You can cherish it, or destroy it. Your choice.
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